Evidence of Darkness Page 9

  “Melissa was awarded two million in compensatory damages, and one million in punitive damages. Aren’t you glad you didn’t settle out of court on this one?”

  Reesa’s eyes opened wide and she put her hand over her mouth. “Oh, my God, yes! That’s three times what the highest settlement offer was. How did Melissa react to the verdict? Is she okay?”

  “She was crying tears of joy when she walked out of the courtroom. I think she was especially pleased with the punitive damage award. That sends a loud message to the freight industry.”

  “I’m so relieved. This trial has been so emotionally taxing on her. I’m glad it’s behind her. Maybe now she can focus on her life again.”

  “Let’s hope so. And, I think you need to do the same. You’ve been under a lot of stress lately yourself. Did Jade fill you in on what happened last night?”

  “Yes. She said an oncoming car slid over into our lane. I guess I hadn’t noticed that the roads were that icy.”

  He rested his hand on her arm. “I knew it was slick, so I was driving slowly when we were struck. I’m just glad you’re going to be all right.”

  Reesa glanced at his hand on her arm and felt uncomfortable. “Thanks again for going to court this morning. It must have been rough after not getting any sleep. Jade told me you were here all night. You really didn’t have to do that.”

  “Not a problem, Reesa. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  “Well, I appreciate everything, but you probably need to get going. You have a flight to catch this afternoon. I hope you have a nice time in Chicago. Will your daughters be there?”

  He glanced at his watch. “Yes. Julie is flying out with me. She’ll be picking me up in a few minutes. She lives close by, so I just told her to pick me up here since my car was towed to the garage last night. She’ll take me home so I can shower and change, then we’ll head to the airport together. Samantha is in Chicago. She’ll be at my parents when we arrive.”

  “Oh, she lives in Chicago?”

  “Yes, she’s attending Northwestern.”

  Reesa nodded and smiled. “Ah, just like her father.”

  “Yes. She’s a Freshman this year, but I think she’s leaning more toward medicine than law.”

  “Couldn’t persuade her to follow in your footsteps?”

  “I can’t say that I even really tried.”

  “I don’t blame you.”

  They chatted a few more minutes about the case, then a tall, slender young woman with short, light-brown hair tapped lightly on the door. Mike smiled and walked over to her.

  She hugged him. “Hi, Dad. Sounds like you had a rough night.”

  “Yes, we did.” After releasing her, he announced proudly, “Reesa, Jade, this is my daughter, Julie.”

  She smiled and shook Jade’s hand, then glanced at Reesa. “So nice to meet you both. I’m glad you’re okay, Reesa.”

  “Thank you, Julie.”

  After chatting a few minutes, Julie looked at Mike, “Well, Dad, are you ready to head to your place so you can change and get your luggage? Maybe get something to eat on the way?”

  “Yes, I’m famished.” Then he turned to Reesa. “Would you like us to take Jade home? She’s probably exhausted.”

  “Can I, Mom? I’ll come back later today and we can spend Christmas Eve together.”

  “Sure. Get some rest. I’ll see you later. And, Mike, thanks again.”

  “No problem. Feel free to call or text me if you need anything.”

  “I’ll be fine. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your family.”

  Jade gave Reesa a quick kiss on her cheek, then left with Mike and Julie.

  Reesa slept most of the day. When she woke up, it was dark outside. After opening her eyes, she saw Jade sitting on a chair by the bed looking at her cell phone.

  “Hi, sweetie.”

  Jade looked up and smiled. “Hi, Mom.”

  “How long have you been here?”

  “Only about an hour. You’ve been sleeping the whole time.”

  Reesa smiled at her. “Did you get some rest today?”

  “Yes. I slept most of the afternoon. Mike and Julie took me to a really cool restaurant on the way home this morning. I had the best waffles ever!”

  “That’s nice. I’m glad you ate something.”

  Jade suddenly became excited. “Julie owns a shop on Orchard Street. Can we go sometime? Please? It sounds like she has some really cool stuff I’d like.”

  “Of course we can – whenever you want.”

  “I really like them, Mom. Mike is so nice. I think he really likes you.”

  “No, he doesn’t. Not like that anyway. He’s just a coworker. That’s all.”

  “Whatever. I’m just saying I think you should give him a chance. You’ve never dated anyone. I used to think you were gay or something, but you don’t have any girlfriends either, so I know you’re not. You’re just weird.”

  Half laughing, Reesa responded, “Thanks a lot! I’m weird because I choose to focus on my daughter and my job instead of a man? Give me a break, Jade.”

  “All I’m saying is that I’m sixteen years old. I’m not a little kid anymore. I don’t need someone looking after me all the time. I just think it would be nice if you had some friends, that’s all.”

  “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”

  Suddenly, a look of concern washed over Jade’s face. She walked to the edge of Reesa’s bed and sat down. “Mom?”

  “Yes, sweetie.”

  “Was my dad like Mike? I know you don’t like to talk about him, but I always envisioned him to be someone like Mike.”

  Reesa thought for a moment, trying to figure out how to answer her question. She rubbed Jade’s back gently with her hand. “Not really, honey.”

  “What was he like?” she asked pleadingly. “Why don’t you ever talk about him? You don’t even have any pictures of him or anything.”

  “Can we please talk about this later? I just don’t feel up to it right now.”

  Jade frowned and looked down in frustration. “Whatever, you never feel up to it.”

  Reesa felt sad and overwhelmed with guilt that she couldn’t discuss Jade’s father with her. Lately, she had been bringing the subject up more than the normal two to three times a year. When she was younger, Reesa could quickly make up stories about him to satisfy her curiosity. Now that Jade was maturing, it was becoming harder and harder to ad-lib tales that wouldn’t result in Jade’s cross-examination of the fallacious stories.

  Reesa decided this was a subject she needed to discuss with Dr. Wilson at her final counseling session the following Thursday. Since she had lied to Jade about her father all of her life, she didn’t quite know if, or when, she should tell Jade that her father was a despicable man who had committed a heinous crime against her. She had always wanted Jade to think that her parents were in love, but most of all, she just didn’t want to think or talk about him – ever.

  Jade spent Christmas Eve at the hospital with Reesa. They spent the evening talking and playing cards. When she was growing tired, Jade climbed on the bed beside her. Reesa’s arm was wrapped gently around her and she kissed her head softly. “Jade, honey, do you know how much I love you?”

  Jade snuggled in closer and closed her eyes. “Of course I do, Mom. You tell me all the time.”

  “I know I do, but do you really know it? In your heart?”

  “Yes. I know you love me more than anything in the whole world. You’re being silly.”

  Reesa kissed her again. As she drifted off to sleep, she felt peaceful knowing she had fulfilled a promise to herself – her daughter knew, without a doubt, that her mother loved her.

  7

  FULL DISCLOSURE

  Reesa was released from the hospital on Christmas Day. She spent the next week at home recuperating from the head injury she sustained in the automobile accident. She worked on a few cases from home, but spent most of the time watching classic holiday movies and sa
mpling scrumptious dishes Jade had enjoyed concocting in an effort to assist in her convalescence. Mike had called a few times during the week to check on her and to discuss the Castillo case.

  On Thursday, she was looking forward to finishing her court-ordered counseling. Dr. Wilson smiled when Reesa walked into her office. She was a pleasant woman in her fifties, with a friendly face, bright blue eyes, and curly golden-colored hair. Reesa always felt comfortable in her presence.

  She stood up and motioned for Reesa to sit down. “Hi, Reesa, it’s nice to see you again. Please, have a seat.”

  Dr. Wilson immediately noticed the bandage on her head, and they began the session by discussing the car accident. Dr. Wilson asked about the Christmas party she had attended with Mike, which led to a brief discussion about her relationship with him.

  As the session progressed, Reesa was anxious to discuss the fact that she had never told her daughter she was conceived when Bryan had raped her. Jade had brought the subject of her father up on numerous occasions during the past few weeks, and she felt uncomfortable continuing to lie to her. She thought Dr. Wilson might have some advice on what to tell Jade to put a stop to her inquiries.

  After Reesa delicately broached the subject, Dr. Wilson looked bewildered. “You mean, you’ve never discussed the rape with Jade?”

  “Well, no. I’ve always told her that her father died before she was born.”

  “Oh, dear. I know you buried the event deep within your subconscious, but I had the impression you had at least discussed it with your daughter. I sense that you and Jade are very close. Is that correct?”

  Reesa responded defensively. “Yes, of course we’re close, but I didn’t want Jade to know she was conceived in a rape. I didn’t think she needed to know that her father was a low-life, drunken, rapist! What will it do to her if she finds out she was conceived in the darkest hour of my life? That her father doesn’t even know she exists?” She fought to hold back her tears. “I’ve even told her that her grandmother passed away. I wanted nothing to do with her either. She doesn’t deserve to know her granddaughter. They are both dead as far as I’m concerned.” Reesa folded her arms in front of her chest and glared at Dr. Wilson.

  “Reesa, have you considered that perhaps Jade is mature enough now to hear the truth? You know your daughter better than anyone else does. Do you feel she is able to handle the truth about her conception?”

  “Well, maybe. She is very mature for her age. But…but, what if she tries to find him or something?” she asked, defensively.

  Dr. Wilson paused and leaned in toward Reesa. “Is that why you’re afraid to tell her? Are you afraid she’ll have a desire to contact him?”

  Reesa thought for a moment. Fear raced through her body as she envisioned Jade meeting Bryan. She slowly nodded her head.

  “I’m sorry, Reesa, but you may have to sort that out with her at some point in time.”

  Reesa remained silent.

  “I really think that perhaps it’s time to tell her the truth. Keep in mind that Jade is sixteen years old. She’s old enough to do some investigating on her own. How would you feel if she were to discover the truth and confront you?”

  A tear trickled out of Reesa’s eye. “I guess I’d feel awful for lying to her all her life. I have always wanted her to trust me, to have faith in me. I just want to be the kind of mother I wish I could have had.”

  “Do you feel that she would be disappointed that you’ve kept this information from her?”

  Reesa was feeling uneasy and shifted in her chair as she processed what Dr. Wilson was asking her. She knew the truth, but was struggling to verbally acknowledge that she had, in fact, been deceitful to Jade. “I don’t know…yes, yes, she would be very disappointed in me,” she finally blurted.

  “I’ve been counseling rape victims, as well as children resulting from rapes, for more than two decades. Most children when they get a certain age, are able to handle the truth. Although it’s difficult for them to comprehend at first, most prefer knowing the truth to not knowing.”

  Reesa was sniffling as she looked at Dr. Wilson. “What if she won’t forgive me for lying to her all of her life? I couldn’t bear it.”

  “Do you think perhaps you’re underestimating your daughter? From what you’ve told me, she seems to be a well-adjusted, bright young woman. Wouldn’t it be better to tell her now than wait for more time to go by? She’s such an important part of your life. Don’t you feel you owe it to her to be honest with her?”

  “Yes, I do, but…” Reesa paused and looked down, unable to explain how she felt.

  “But, what? What are you feeling right now?”

  “I…I don’t even know how to begin to tell her everything I went through.” Her hand was shaking as she reached for a tissue from the box sitting on the corner of the desk.

  “Just be honest with her. She may have questions. She may even be upset at first. It’s a lot to digest, but perhaps you’re not giving her enough credit. Do you feel emotionally strong enough now to tell her?”

  Reesa looked down in her lap. “I…I think so.”

  “Good. I know how important she is to you. I think losing her trust and faith in you because she discovers you’ve lied to her all her life might be more difficult for Jade to handle than learning the truth about her conception. Would you agree?”

  Reesa became consumed with dread at the thought of telling Jade the truth. She looked up at Dr. Wilson and let out a sigh, reconciling herself to the reality of the situation. “Yes, probably.”

  “Okay. I truly believe telling Jade the truth will be a huge step forward in freeing yourself from this burden you’ve been carrying around for the past sixteen years. I also think it will help in your overall recovery process.”

  Reesa slowly nodded her head in agreement.

  Dr. Wilson glanced at the clock, then sat up in her chair and looked at her candidly. “This is your last court-ordered session. Although I think you’ve made some progress, I can clearly see we’ve only scratched the surface. You’re still young. You have so much life to live. I really believe if we continued with your therapy, your life could be so much more fulfilling. You mentioned in one of our earlier sessions that you’ve never been in love. You don’t have any close relationships with, well, anyone – except Jade. You should be in a very happy place in your life. Your daughter is growing up to be a wonderful young lady, your professional life is excelling, but you seem to be struggling through what should be some of the happiest days of your life. Would you agree?”

  “Yes,” Reesa replied, sniffling.

  “You are a bright, successful woman, and there are so many human emotions you’ve chosen to suppress due to unresolved anger from the traumatic events of your past. Don’t you want to feel those emotions? Don’t you want to live life to the fullest?”

  Reesa was listening, but her mind was screaming, NO! I don’t want to feel those emotions. I want to be in control.

  When she didn’t answer, Dr. Wilson continued, “What about Mike? You’ve mentioned him several times in our sessions, and again today. I sense that you admire him. What if there could be more to that relationship. Do you have any desire to explore those possibilities?”

  Reesa’s mind began racing when she thought about Mike. He was increasingly becoming an important part of her life. Just the thought of him made her feel something she’d never felt before, but she continually suppressed the feelings. She wondered if he could ever really love her. She wondered if she could ever love him. Then her mind shifted. But what if he rejected her? Her mother had rejected her. Her father had rejected her. If she let Mike close enough, he could reject her too. She suddenly realized without help, she would never even take the chance.

  Chuckling, Dr. Wilson asked, “Reesa? You really don’t have anything to lose by continuing your therapy, do you? Well, maybe an hour a week. I think that’s well worth what you could potentially gain in return. What do you say, would you like to continue your counseling?” />
  Reesa hesitated, then responded quietly, “Yes, we can continue.”

  Throughout the drive home, her head was spinning. The words Dr. Wilson had spoken to her kept running through her brain, and she felt desperate to get home to Jade. She wondered what Jade would do if she found out the truth about her father. How would she feel? Would she be mad, hurt, angry? Would she hate her for being deceitful? Would she leave home and never come back, just like she herself had done all those years ago?

  By the time Reesa pulled into the parking garage of her apartment building, she had convinced herself Jade would never forgive her for carrying on an elaborate lie her entire life.

  Consumed with regret and despair, she started sobbing as she opened the door and walked into her apartment. She instantly regretted her assault on Chad, which lead to her court-ordered counseling. She regretted lying to Jade. She regretted dropping the rape charges against Bryan. The only thing she didn’t regret, was her decision to give birth to her beautiful daughter.

  She felt like her whole life was falling apart, and she was powerless to keep it together. Unable to stop crying, she ran straight to her bedroom and shut the door.

  Jade was in the living room watching TV and caught a glimpse of her as she fled down the hallway without saying a word to her.

  A few minutes later, Jade knocked lightly on Reesa’s bedroom door. “Mom? Are you okay?”

  There was no answer.

  “Mom? I could hear you crying from the living room. What’s going on?”

  There was no answer.

  Jade slowly opened the door and stepped into the bedroom. She saw Reesa sitting on a bench by her bedroom window looking out at the Hudson River below, her shoulders trembling in synchrony with her sobs. Jade cautiously walked toward the bench and sat down beside her.

  Reesa looked away, unable to face her.

  “Mom, what’s wrong?” she asked in a quiet voice as she wrapped her arms around her. Minutes passed without either of them saying a word.

  Finally, Jade broke the silence. “When I’m upset, you always make me tell you what’s bothering me. You have to do the same. Right?”